Classroom Jokes

Teacher: What happened in 1869?
Student: Gandhi ji was born..
Teacher: What happened in 1873?
Student: Gandhiji was four years old..

Teacher: Because of Gandhiji's hard work what do we get on 15th August.
Student: A holiday....!!

Teacher: Tomorrow there will be a lecture on Sun, Everyone must attend it..
Santa: No ma'm..! I will not be able to attend it.
Teacher: Why...?
Santa: My mother will not allow me to go so far....!!

Teacher: There is a frog, Ship is sinking, potatoes cost Rs 3/kg.. Then, what is my age?
STUDENT: 32 yrs..
Teacher: How do you know?
STUDENT: Well, my sister is 16 yrs old and she is half mad..

Teacher: Where does God live..?
Little boy: I think he lives in our bathroom..
Teacher: Why do you say that..?
Little boy: Well, every morning my daddy bangs on the bathroom door and says, 'God, are you still in there..?'

Chirkut in the farm

One day, Farmer Chirkut was in town picking up supplies for his farm. He stopped by the hardware store and picked up a bucket and an anvil. Then, he stopped by the livestock dealer to buy a couple of chickens and a goose. However, he now had a problem: How to carry all of his purchases home?

The livestock dealer said, "Why don't you put the anvil in the bucket, carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand?"

"Hey, thanks!" the farmer said, and off he went.

While walking he met a little old lady who told him she was lost. She asked, "Can you tell me how to get to 15 Rose Mary Mario Lane?"

The farmer said, "Well, as a matter of fact, I live at 20 Rose Mary Mario Lane. Let's take my short cut and go thru these sarso ke khet. We'll be there in no time."

The little old lady said, "I am a lonely widow without a husband to defend me. How do I know that when we get into the khet you won't ravish me?"

The farmer said, "Holy shit, lady! I am carrying a bucket, an anvil, two chickens, and a goose. How in God's name could I possibly hold you up and do that?"

The little old lady said, "Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the anvil on top of the bucket, and I'll hold the chickens."

4 Friends.

Four friends, who hadn't seen each other in 30 years, reunited at a party. After several drinks, one of the men had to use the rest room. Those who remained talked about their kids.

The first guy said, 'My son is my pride and joy. He started working at a successful company at the bottom of the barrel. He studied Economics and Business Administration and soon began to climb the corporate ladder and now he's the president of the company. He became so rich that he gave his best friend a top of the line Mercedes for his birthday.

The second guy said, 'Darn, that's terrific! My son is also my pride and joy. He started working for a big airline, then went to flight school to become a pilot. Eventually he became a partner in the company, where he owns the majority of it's assets. He's so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet for his birthday.'

The third man said 'Well, that's terrific! My son studied in the best universities and became an engineer. Then he started his own construction company and is now a multimillionaire. He also gave away something very nice and expensive to his best friend for his birthday. A 30,000 square foot mansion.'

The three friends congratulated each other just as the fourth friend returned from the restroom and asked 'What are all the congratulations for?'

One of the three said 'We were talking about the pride we feel for the successes of our sons. What about your son?' The fourth man replied 'My son is gay and makes a living dancing as a stripper at a nightclub.'

The three friends said 'What a shame... what a disappointment.' The fourth man replied 'No, I'm not ashamed. He's my son and I love him. And he hasn't done too badly either. His birthday was two weeks ago, and he received a beautiful 30,000 square foot mansion, a brand new jet and a top of the line Mercedes from his three boyfriends.'